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I am unaware if it is stated on this blog or not that a large part of this will be comprised of life lessons. This post will be the first. Although, I wish it never needed to be said, but we don't normally get what we wish for, do we?
This journal was originally supposed to start with a daily update about my progress on a purification regiment. Unfortunately, this is not going happen when it was supposed to, which is where the disappointment comes from at this very second, but this is not the only reason for this feeling.
Humans, as a general whole, tend to create expectations for one another. I try not to, but I am as guilty of it as the next person, even though I would have to say my expectations are realistic and not very difficult to get, well they shouldn't be, but they seem to be impossible for most people.
When a person gives you nothing but negative action, you expect it to happen and are pleasantly surprised when they do something nice. You appreciate more then you do normally, but it doesn't change the fact that you expect the person to do something negative still. When people do things that are positive, you expect them to continue on with that pattern, but eventually they will always slip up and breach the delicate fabric of trust, for some this ends up breaking everything, others it's only a momentary lapse, from my experience, once someone in a positive pattern makes a move into the negative, it quickly slides down hill, the person in question stumbles and tries to gain footing, but ultimately, they just loosen more rocks that just makes the land slide worse, until you can't be around that person anymore because they have turned away from the positive side so drastically you just can't take it anymore.
I have become disappointed with people in my life, because they are unreliable and cannot keep to the things they say. They sell out, or disappear and you are expected to deal with this. They do not consider the feelings of those they are effecting, either because of lack of interest, or because they are only considering themselves. Sometimes, it is needed to consider one's self and to make sure that you are happy with the things that take place in your life, but the fillings of those you claim love and/or care for, your family and friends, should never be disregarded.
I am tired of being disappointed. I will try hard to not have any expectations for anyone, because eventually we will all do something that will affect someone in a negative way. Without expectations, I cannot be bothered by these negative shifts, and will be better off.
